I had a random dream the other night, where I was subjected to the onslaught of the offspring of Krang from the Ninja Turtles and a Beholder from D&D. It was terrible. Bruce Willis couldn't even stop their advances to destroy our planet.
I also had a dream, where I was microwaving a pizza box. There was no pizza inside this box, just the box. In the microwave. Empty.
I wish, sometimes, that I had these dreams like Martin Luther King had, that are world-shakers, and then I remember he got shot. For a great cause, yes, but he still got shot. Let's be real, I don't have a great cause like that to get shot over, unless suddenly the use of open wifi has become something to fight over. Which I don't think it has.
In the interim, I have my other dreams. Like the one where I lit my Taco Bell farts on fire and wound up flying over Hampton Roads (or, at least, until I ran out of "gas" and needed to hit the fly-through of the Taco Bell in the Sky). Or the one where my boss was a minotaur who had a pathological fear of being turned into barbecue. Or the one where Louie Anderson was claiming that Jean Paul Gaultier was the REAL founder of Kellogg's, and he was using his pheromonal studies to control America subtly with the use of his cereals.
Yeah, there are some real gems. What there aren't, though, are things that one might consider to be things that matter. Like.. what I should do with my life.
Yeah, that's a bit of a bitch, that one. Though, from what I hear, 99% of Americans don't have a flipping clue, either.
So maybe that's what the government needs. To get more in touch with their clueless side. You know, so that they're more in touch with their citizenry.
Oh, wait. They already do that. You know, be clueless, and all.
